Week of January 17, 2016


On a periodic basis we receive something from the “Wellness Director” for our diocese. At the beginning of the new year she sent something about Wholehearted Living. The author quoted (Dr. Bene Brown) is someone who was recommended to me last year. Below is the beginning of what was sent by our Wellness Director. The rest will come in future bulletins.

According to Dr. Bene Brown, “Wholehearted Living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think – No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.


  1. Practice Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think

Developing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. This isn’t easy. It’s much easier to succumb to people-pleasing or aggressive posturing when shame strikes. Still, if you make authenticity your goal — rather than focusing on being liked or getting your way — it means that positive outcomes aren’t dependent on what other people do or don’t do. If you aim for authenticity in your interactions and then stay true to yourself, you win. No matter what.

  1. Find Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a roadblock to authenticity. It’s fueled by a belief that if we look, say, or do everything perfectly, we won’t suffer shame or the pain of other people’s judgment.

It’s recommended to offset perfectionism by getting some objective feedback on your current level of self-compassion. One way to do this is to take an assessment at www.self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are.

  1. Cultivate Resilience: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness

Resilience does not mean enduring hardship stoically. It means experiencing adversity without submitting to hopelessness or numbing tactics that “take the edge off” (like alcohol, shopping, or emotional eating). It’s about consciously checking in when we struggle — instead of checking out. To cultivate resilience, we need to believe that we are capable of handling our challenges. This capability requires a sensibly hopeful attitude (more “I can do this” than “I deserve this”) along with some healthy critical distance on all the “never good enough” messages our culture delivers.

  1. Build Gratitude, Joy and Sufficiency: Letting Go of Scarcity

Many shame-resilient people are able to feel joyful and grateful during times when they weren’t exactly happy. This is because happiness depends more on how things are going, while joy is connected to a “good mood of the soul.” Acts of gratitude help produce that good mood — even amid challenging circumstances. Practicing gratitude also counteracts our sense of scarcity, the all-too-common feeling that there’s never enough of anything, be it time, money, or love. It is recommended to aim for an attitude of “sufficiency.” Abundance can feel unattainable; believing that what we are and what we have is enough can be powerful.

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